My Life
Pattern Behaviour
The human condition, the patterns/habits we learn from our parents when we are young by modelling and copying are what causes misery and unhappiness when we grow up and have to think for ourselves. If we are told when we are young that fish and chips is a healthy food option to eat daily and we watch those we trust around us indulging, why would we question its truth, we wouldn’t, we would just follow suit and do the same.
We only know what we know so what is passed on from others unfortunately ends up becoming our template to happiness. How many things that you do every year like celebrate the tradition of Christmas or where you choose to go on holiday is down to habit or routine rather than a spur of the moment impulse idea? You will find most of what you are conditioned to do is done out of habit rather than genuine desire. It is what you are used to and you don’t want to upset the apple cart by going against the grain and the pack.
Venus Cow says, "Don’t be a sheep and follow the pack, find out what you really like and what makes you happy."
Go to your journal and make a list of how many times you wish you did not have to participate in something organized by someone else just because you have always done it in the past. Christmas is the perfect example of a time when people are under enormous pressure to perform, in fact the pressure is so high these days the festive preparation now beings in October. We are bombarded by the media and advertisers subliminally telling us time is running out, we need to get shopping, we don’t want to leave things until the last second, constantly leaving us feeling stressed and miserable.
The truth is if you are overweight and have no will power buying big boxes of quality street or mince pies, to put away until the big day, is fatal as you are likely to be unable to resist eating them immediately. Going on a crash diet 6 weeks before Christmas to lose enough weight so you can have a big pig out and eat what you want, as well as get into that little black party dress, is a well established pattern most of us buy into that never works in practice. Diets don’t work especially when you are surrounded by temptation and your life revolves around a two month build up to an event that in reality lasts one day.
Go to your journal and write down what Christmas means to you, not what you have been told by others or what you see others doing but what it is all about to you and how you truly feel about it. If it’s a great experience, you can afford to splash out and spoil those you love and you never resent spending money on gifts people hate and never use, then knock yourself out but if you dread it and want it to just disappear, then do something different for once by not buying it.
To be happy we have to be in control of our own destiny and just because everyone else around you is suffering from status anxiety, keeping up with the Jones, you can choose to do what you like and be different by changing the pattern. It is an amazing thing to give the gift of your time to those who need help and support especially if you are broke and that is all you have to give.
Venus Cow says, "If you are stressed and strapped for cash this Christmas tell everyone you know you are doing something good this year by volunteering your time and your company to those who find themselves alone and worse off than you."
If you can afford to splash out, treat yourself to a long sunshine break from your normal routine relaxing knowing you have no massive credit cards bills to worry about come the end of January.
True happiness comes from having a purpose not from buying stuff we cannot always afford or don't need. No amount of shopping, eating, drinking, partying will fill the void, the big empty hole because it’s all external, looking outward based on false information we have learnt from others. It is time to start looking inward and facing your own truth, hearing not what you want to hear, the good bits but what you need to hear to change, the stuff you are ashamed of.